Law of the Web

By Aetre

April 16, 2005

If you're a teen writing fanfiction for your favorite TV series, you belong on the Internet.

If you're a business ready for the global market, you belong on the Internet.

If you like gay senior citizen pornography, you belong on the Internet.

If you'd rather preach the Gospel and converse with Christians worldwide, you belong on the Internet.

If you're just researching a topic for a school paper, you belong on the Internet.

If you're researching Paganism and thinking of converting, you belong on the Internet.

If you're Bill O'Reilly, you belong on the Internet.

If you're Michael Moore, you belong on the Internet.

If you want to look into ways to protect your children online, you belong on the Internet.

If you're a masochistic fursuiter who loves nippledicks, you belong on the Internet.

If you like intelligent discourse about Eastern philosophy, you belong on the Internet.

If you want to read G-rated comic strips your local newspaper doesn't print, you belong on the Internet.

If you want to talk to faraway friends, you belong on the Internet.

If you want to talk to total strangers, you belong on the Internet.

If you support right-to-life and are willing to organize a rally in Washington DC, you belong on the Internet.

If, instead, you're organizing the next Star Trek convention, you belong on the Internet.

If you're a hostage-taker and terrorist in Iraq aiming to scare the shit out of people worldwide with videos of victims you've beheaded, you belong on the Internet.

If you want friends to see your livejournal and give you moral support and encouragement after a bad day, you belong on the Internet.

If you're shopping for high-quality telescopes no store in your area sells, you belong on the Internet.

If you're a fan of Redwall and want to exchange stories and roleplay with other fans, you belong on the Internet.

If you believe the world is a cube--instead of a sphere--and you're willing to bet that the doctors who call you schizophrenic are just "educated stupid..." you belong on the Internet.

If you love music and want to support your favorite band, you belong on the Internet.

If you'd rather get that music illegally, you belong on the Internet.

If you want to speak against injustices and rant your little heart out on any subject at all, you belong on the Internet.

But if you have a problem with ANY of the above people sharing the same Internet as you...

Then you don't belong on the Internet.