Videogame Cats II: Van Kruglor
By Aetre
Archive ID: 10-ch. Article No. 7
April – June 2004
Introduction:
Apparently, you people thought the first installment of my fanfiction for Scott Ramsoomair’s comic, VG Cats, was pretty cool; I got lots of encouraging comments for it, both in email and forum post form.
So now I bring you this sequel. Again, it is done with Scott’s expressed written consent (via email—hey, that counts as written), but I must include the standard fanfiction disclaimer nonetheless:
The characters Leo, Aeris, Scott / Pants Man, Krug / Van Kruglor, the Hobo, and the various cameo characters from VG Cats that appear in this story are Scott’s creative property, not mine.
And I think that about covers it... So let’s get started!
--Chapter One:
Toronto lay silent in the early morning hours, the city in a poorly balanced state between the nightlife and sunrise. What few people were out on the town by now were those with night jobs, and as such, the residential streets and sidewalks were completely vacant—well, not quite completely...
One shadowed figure crept his way through the side roads, every now and then stopping to hold a map up under a street lamp. He was careful enough not to expose his entire figure beneath the cone of light; he stood outside the boundary and simply extended his arm so that only the map and his hand (in a nondescript black glove) were illuminated.
He cursed to himself for not having studied the roads in daylight, but the Internet had street directions for every city in Canada, practically, and the simple printout had only led him astray twice in his search.
Now he was close... he could sense it. But with only an hour before the morning sun raised its yellow head, he would still have to hurry.
The apartment complex was two streets over. When the shadow got there, he checked the map again. The X was at Applegate Apartment Complex, Bldg. 1: Units 1A – 20A. This matched the sign in front of the building.
Good, thought the living silhouette. Now to find 14A.
When he saw that the main entrance required a key card to get in, he reached in his coat pocket and withdrew a metallic brick with several blinking lights on various parts of its exterior. On one of the long sides of the brick was the label, “Property of Dr. Daniel Doe, MD PHD DDS HTML PHP WMD ESQ. If found, please return to...”
The silhouette groaned. Next time, he mentally noted, I’ve got to remember to lose the nametags. Secret missions are supposed to be secret, after all. Oh well. No point in turning back now... He sighed. I probably should just stick to lab work from now on.
One of the two largest sides of the brick had lights, but the opposite side was flat metal. Dr. Doe touched this purely metal side to the access card swiper, and it deactivated instantly, unlocking the main door.
He had to go up a flight of stairs to get to 14A, but he found the apartment in less than a minute. The door was unlocked, but the hinges creaked a bit as he opened it.
Again, he took the brick and touched the metal end to the door. Suddenly, the hinges were as silent as if they had been oiled yesterday. Dr. Doe suppressed a chuckle to himself.
Only a very dim streak of light leaked into the room as Doe entered it, and this was only for a brief moment, since the mad scientist closed the door behind himself. He paused only to put on a pair of night-vision goggles, and then he surveyed the room.
Krug was asleep on a fold-out sofa bed. He was sprawled out on his back under a blanket, two cats resting their heads on him, one under each of the monster’s arms, held close but not harshly to his chest as he snored.
Though nobody could possibly have been able to see Dr. Doe’s facial expression in the dark, he smiled when he saw Krug. The doctor approached him in perfect silence, taking a nondescript collar from beneath his cloak.
He leaned over the bed, being very careful not to wake either Krug or the cats, and in a process that took about five minutes, snapped the collar below Krug’s mouth. Once he was sure it was on, and that nobody had woke, Dr. Doe left the room as silently as he had come. Once outside, he snickered and took yet another object from his pocket: a remote control.
--
Back inside the apartment, a red light blinked on Krug’s collar. Next to that light, a small compartment opened, and a thin mechanical arm folded out. It had a speaker attached to its free end, and it maneuvered until it had placed this speaker in Krug’s ear.
Krug was dreaming at the time... In his fantasy, all the fleshy ones of the world were praising him as he walked down a red carpet. A velvet robe hung from his shoulders, and a golden, bejeweled crown sat atop his head, between his horns.
The people broke into chant: “Krug! Krug! Krug! Krug!”
A man wearing a sash that read, “President,” now came up to him and announced to the whole crowd, “Krug is now King!”
Everybody cheered.
The man then took off his sash and threw it over Krug, saying, “And President, too! Krug is now President!”
Everybody cheered again. Krug smiled, not only in his dream, but also on the sofa. How could this possibly get any better?
Then Krug heard a voice in his ear. “Krug,” it said, “Come to me...”
Krug, not aware that he was speaking aloud in the real world, and also not realizing he was wearing a collar equipped with a speaker and microphone, said, “If Krug come, Krug be King?”
Dr. Doe was a bit surprised by this response, but he answered, “We’ll see... But only very good monsters get to be King.”
“Krug a good monster...”
“Then come to me. I will tell you where to go.”
Leo and Aeris both woke up when Krug stood suddenly and walked out the door. The monster moved in a classic sleepwalking / zombie position, his arms in front of him as he repeated to himself in a low drone, “Krug is now King... Krug is now King...”
In the house’s bedroom, Scott was having a dream of his own. When Leo and Aeris came in to try and wake him, he was talking in his sleep.
Scott: (asleep) Pants Man now King... Pants Man now King...
Aeris: (whispering, but somewhat loudly) Scott. Scott! Wake up!
Scott: (waking up, looking with blurred vision at Aeris) Are you the Panties Princess? Gonna be my Pants Queen?
Aeris: (sigh, then sarcastic, no longer whispering) No, Scotty, I’m just a Toad. Your Princess is in another castle. She’s been kidnapped by giant turtles for God-knows-what reason, and it’s up to two plumbers to save her.
Scott: Oh. Well, sucks to be her. (falls back asleep, starts snoring)
Leo: (to Aeris) Well? What should we do to wake him up?
Aeris: Hm, it’ll take something drastic at this point...
Three minutes later, Scott has headphones on, which are connected to his computer on the desk beside the bed. Leo clicks a mouse button.
From the cats’ point of view, they can both hear the muffled sounds of the headphones playing “Badger Badger Badger” on repetitive loop.
Scott: (singing along as he sleeps) Badger badger badger badger, mushroom mushroom...
A few seconds later, Scott leaps up instantly and yells:
“OH MY GOD! IT’S A SNAKE! KILL IT! KILL IT!”
Leo clicked the mouse again, and the music stopped. Scott realized he was wearing headphones and standing on his bed. The first emotion to hit him, of course, was confusion. He looked toward the computer, where Leo was rolling on his back, laughing his little feline head off, saying, “See? I told ya it’d work!”
“I’ll admit, that was a good idea,” said Aeris. She was on the floor, eying her owner with amusement, but at least not mockery.
Said Scott in a monotone, “There had better be an explanation for this, and I’m afraid April Fool’s Day has already passed for the year.”
Leo regained his composure and said, “Yeah, there’s an explanation.”
“Krug’s gone,” said the cats together.
Pause.
“Like, gone missing, or what?” asked Scott.
“He just got up and sleepwalked out the door,” said Aeris. “He was saying something about being King.”
Pause.
Said Scott decisively, “This does not explain the badger song.”
“Sorry,” said Leo. “But at least it woke you up.”
Aeris: Shouldn’t we do something? Y’know, chase after him? Call the police? He only left five minutes ago; we could probably catch up to him.
Leo: Yeah! Let’s get him back here before he gets lost in the neighborhood.
Scott: (yawn) You cats have way too much energy for this time of morning. Tell ya what. Leo, call the Commissioner’s office—it’s speed dial 2—He won’t be there, but at least I can say I left him a memo. Aeris, get my keys... We’ll search for him for a little while. And in the future, let’s get him some treatment for that sleepwalking thing, okay?
Cats, together: Okay.